Recently I allowed someone to take my treasured smile off my face. Bad on me, a smile is one thing I have control over. We have the right to smile at wacky food if we so choose, or can others take the right to smile away?  What can we do for good with a smile, regardless of our circumstances? How can a smile protect us from those who abuse us? Can we feel the smile of contempt and love at the same time? What do we hide behind our smiles? The power of a smile!!! Use it….

Child Childhood Children Happiness Concept. Birthday, Happiness,

Any Age

We learn at an early age to smile no matter what. As children, we have little control over our circumstances. It can set the stage for future smiles that invite abuse by others.

As we age, we can learn how to wipe that smile off at any time we need to set boundaries for our safety and wellbeing. This is a skill worth learning. The older we get the more practice we have to share our smiles on the safe people of this world. When that happens we can be ourselves and be as goofy as we choose, because we are safe.


What is Really Behind a Smile

As we work our way through our trauma journey, we find that others are putting on their smiles just like we are. There is a whole lifetime of twists and turns of everyone’s lives that have created a specific smile to their faces.

Learning how we use a smile for self-preservation, we gradually learn to see past the smiles of others. We gain an ability to use our unhappiness to see others pain. We may, or may not, have the ability to do anything to help them, but our own journey helps us to grow in our compassion for others.

Style, Fashion And Hair Coloring Concept. Portrait Of Gorgeous Y

Meaning of a Smile

We always have control over what our smile means, to us.

Sometimes a smile is given out of pure contempt for another, yet they most likely cannot see the meaning. When others are not listening, refusing to hear, tuning you out, you can just smile in contempt. This saves you the energy of fighting through an impossible situation. Sad state of affairs to be in, but it is a useful tool through a time of endurance.

We have the ability to use our smiles for what we desire. Sure, I understand that abusive people in our lives can wipe the smile off for us. We can still sneak a smirk.

You have the right to hide every trace of sadness, with a smile. When you find yourself in a situation where no one will listen to you, just smile. It buys you time to keep on trying, trying to work through the issues, for you, not others who refuse to listen or care.

A day will come when someone will come along who will not abuse, will not take advantage, will not control, will not use you as a personal doormat. The day will come, just smile as you work through it.

Glad Smiles

Finding “gladness” helps one to smile. I am glad for… There is always something, no matter what. If you cannot see it for yourself, get help to see it. Without gladness, we don’t feel hope, without hope we give up.

Personally, I refuse to give up. Who I am, is a smile.

If nothing else, I can smile at the fact that I see the absurdity in others at the moment. The absurdity has a bit of twisted humor in it. Since I cannot control others, I can smile at their absurdity.

That is a time to play a ukulele and smile. I actually had this happen once during one of those impossible situations. The ukulele playing made me smile with a chuckle at the absurdity I was enduing. It moved me to a better place for the moment, VICTORY.

Happy, Cute Girl Plays Ukulele Against The Background Of A Yello

Revoking Rights of a Smile

Have we finally been abused enough to realize that our innocence needs protection by ourselves? Enough of the smiles that others perceive as invitations to abuse us. We have the right to revoke our smiles at any time. Revoke the unintended invitation to anyone who perceives our smile as such.

There is a time for blatant rudeness for self protection. Those of us who have been taught to smile for the sake of others comfort, need to find our revoking rights.

As I tested this revoking right, I found that it actually did create some more distance between me and abusers. Those already in my life that continually choose to abuse me  made my life more miserable because I no longer played the smile game for their benefit. That’s okay. My revoking rights allowed me to learn that I have some control over inviting new offenders in my life.

ANY reduction of abuse and trauma in the life of a victim is a state of victory.


Power of a Smile

A smile can bring self-induced light to very dark places in ones life.

I have the choice to bring my own light to my heart, regardless of ANY situation.

No matter how bad the situation is, I can smile at the power I have to smile through it, IF that is what I choose for that moment. My life is worth a smile, regardless of what others say or do.

Life is worth trying, just smile. You are the only who has to know what is behind every one of your smiles. You know the tears spent on gaining that precious smile. YOU are okay just the way you are. I am the messiest person I know, and I still see the value I have in myself. No one but me can take that away, even in the worse of circumstances.


Smile by Nat King Cole Explains it All

Sometimes we have no control over a situation in our lives. Sometimes the only thing we can do for the moment is to get lost in a song that helps us smile.

[Verse 1]
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

[Verse 2]
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Buy the song:

MP3 Smile Song

MP3 Smile in Album, The Very Best of Nat King Cole

CD Smile in Album, The Very Best of Nat King Cole

Listen for FREE:


3 thoughts on “What is Behind a Smile

Leave a Reply