I have the least patience for others on days I physically feel the worse. The battle can become a “how to shoot someone who outdrew ya.” On those days, hurting people seem to come out of the woodwork and find me. I get to choose how I react. The more practice I get, the better I am getting at it.
When we are ill, we usually do not get the rest that we need. We don’t feel good. Our bodies ache and are in pain. We are tired, exhausted and have no energy to spend on people attacking us. Make those people just go away!
Wish we could twinkle our noses and make them disappear but they are hurting people just like us. We all have our hurts in life and some carry them and spill them out on others from time to time.
There will be some people we simply need to get away from, immediately. For our safety and our sanity. Today, I am talking about people we are willing to practice our patience on.
During my chronic illness, I watched a slow transformation in myself. I watched myself learn how to have the patience for others again. It is still a bit rocky with some people but I have had lots of practice and I found a trick that has helped me tremendously.
Simply remembering that hurting people hurt others. When it feels like someone is attacking me, I can feel my defenses going up. I get short. I get ready for the fight.
“But all I’ve ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya” – Hallelujah – Pentatonix (song)
That is not what I want for my life or anyone else’s. But that is a sad reality for many people. So how can I make better choices to create better actions?
When I can see the hurt in others, I can see their attack on me for what it is. Instead of getting so defensive and getting ready to “draw,” I can take a breath and see it for what it really is.
Hurting people hurt others.
Just see it, simply see it. It takes the sting out of some of the attacks from others. Taking the sting out helps to calm the stress response which keeps us calmer. During chronic illness, we can learn some lessons that make our lives not so responsive to others. It will help us get through the difficult moment and heal faster. Allowing us to get on with our lives and thrive.
I am amazed at all the lessons we can learn while walking through chronic illness with trauma triggers.
What has been one of your lessons?
Maribeth Baxter, MBEC
Donations are accepted to serve others on their chronic illness journey. Maribeth Baxter, MBEC provides voluntary certified health coaching services to the financially limited during their time of crisis.