Do you treat yourself as you desire others to treat you?

We have all heard the Golden Rule, “Treat others as you would want them to treat you.” What about how we treat ourselves? How are we treating ourselves in comparison to how we want others to treat us? The negative self-talk is usually crueler than what others would say to us. What about self-care? Are we…Read more »

Dancing the Twists and Turns of Trauma

Dancing with all of the twists and turns of trauma in our lives takes us places we never dreamed of. Some of them turn into adventures that bring us great delight and healing. Others take a dark turn that we need to endure to see the other side. As we learn to dance through the…Read more »

Days I Do Not Want to Feel the Pain

Not interested in feeling the pain of life every day. It hurts too much. It hurts so much that I simply do not feel the pain of it all today. Not the pain of disease or the chronic suffering from it. Not the pain of the decades of trauma and the consequences from others. Not…Read more »

Cognitive Disruptions – Let’s Clarify Crazy

There is crazy and there are cognitive disruptions. Fruit-loopy, nuts, crazy, mad, ditz, blonde, air-head, slow, the short bus – – you get the idea. Chronic pain makes us all a bit loony. Others join in name-calling and we even do it to ourselves, calling ourselves stupid or idiots when we miss a beat. Maybe…Read more »

Frame Your Trauma

There are times when I literally have to “frame” an episode of something that feels traumatic to be able to see through it. Giving it some kind of temporary placeholder so I can step back and see it differently, more thoroughly. Maybe it is a type of barrier so I can define what is truly…Read more »

Just when you want to say, “What the heck?”

Walking down these paths of chronic illness, pain and trauma can bring many “What the heck” moments. Things don’t line up, they don’t make sense, they don’t appear as we think we should see them. It is so easy to look at this photo and say there is no possible way that this is real.…Read more »

Trauma and Illness Can Feel Like a Game of Pinball

Throw enough factors into one persons life and body and it can feel like a pinball flying around out-of-control. That ball is flying so fast one way, then the other, that it is hard to follow. To a chronically ill person with pain and trauma, their life and body can feel like it is being…Read more »

What Brings an Ounce of Humor to Trauma?

There is nothing funny about trauma, nothing. As we have experienced it and lived with it for our entire lives, we can watch ourselves as we live out the effects of it. Are there rare moments that you can actually find an ounce of humor in the situation? Not to belittle the experiences. Not to sweep…Read more »

Plowed Over, For a Moment

Last night’s tragic events in Las Vegas plowed me over this morning when I heard of the horror of last night. It is good to have compassion for others and it is good to be appalled at this horrific event. It is not okay to spiral out of control over it. Gently and quickly had to…Read more »