Many of us have been diagnosed with ODD. The rest of the population needs to be. Personally I take pride in the ODD diagnosis. I love being odd, different, simply just me. I also love that all of you have the ODD diagnosis as well.
Odd, As A Matter of Fact
Let’s just simply define the word odd.
- Different from what is usual or expected; strange
- Not regular, expected, or planned
- Differing markedly from the usual, ordinary, or accepted, peculiar
- Differing in nature from what is ordinary, usual, or expected
- Singular or peculiar in a strange or eccentric way
- Fantastic; bizarre
This is a perfect word to define who people are, the ones who allow themselves to simply be themselves. No two people can be the same, therefore we are, by fact, different. We are strange to one another because we are not exactly the same, so we cannot fully understand another.
And we certainly cannot ever live up to what is “expected” by others. It will never happen.
So, why do we keep beating our heads against this brick wall? Why can’t we revel in the fact that we are individuals, different and unique in our own ways? Why can’t we allow it in ourselves even though others don’t cooperate with the process?
In time we can find others who share the same belief that unconditional love and acceptance can be embraced.
No, I am NOT saying that when an abuser is abusing us that we should be a doormat and simply accept their behavior. We can accept that they have their own issues and are worthy of love as a human being but we can do that from a distance for our own safety.
Okay, so there really is an ODD Diagnosis called, oppositional defiant disorder. We can choose to beat the dickens out of each other for not fitting into the obedient, perfectly behaved robot that is expected out of us by our modern world. To heck with that, I just want to be myself, which includes being messy (which is defined as “odd”).
This one floors me. How have we become so disconnected with who we are as individual humans that we have now created a mental illness diagnosis for being such?
“Even the best-behaved children can be difficult and challenging at times. But if your child or teenager has a frequent and persistent pattern of anger, irritability, arguing, defiance or vindictiveness toward you and other authority figures, he or she may have oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
As a parent, you don’t have to go it alone in trying to manage a child with ODD. Doctors, mental health professionals and child development experts can help.” ~ Mayo Clinic, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
In defense of Mayo Clinic, they go on to mention that “positive family interactions” can help. What a concept…
Not everyone has another human in their lives who can create an atmosphere of positive family interactions. When we find ourselves in that lonely position it is okay to do it for ourselves.
- Speak kindly to yourself
- Replace your negative self-talk with positive self-talk
- Take responsibility for your own positive interactions, regardless of what others do or don’t do
Create positive interactions with any human who will participate. Let go of those who will not. Love on others the way you want them to love on you.
How Odd Are You?
Does EVERYONE tell you how odd you are? Take pride in the fact that you have the ability to be you. Accept that your are acceptable just the way you are.
People with trauma in their lives tend to appear ODD to others.
Chronically ill people are sometimes determined so ODD that they are not worthy of basic human interaction.
Be messy, be proud to be you, exactly like you are.
Kindness, respect and love is basic, just do it.
When there are words of wisdom that are coming from another, receive it, grow with it. Allowing wise criticism to empower us works to our benefit. We can feel the sting of the criticism but we can use the information to become the person we want to grow into.
Don’t take things personal when people are in their own zone and just being thoughtless or cruel. That is their deal, not yours.
Picture a duck letting water roll off of their backs. Let useless criticism just roll off of you. Don’t absorb the nonsense that sometimes comes from others.
The more you care about what others think about you, the more THEY own you.
You are the only one who truly knows when criticism is productive and when it is thoughtless or sometimes even cruel.
I am afraid of failing, being rejected, no doubt. Feels like getting burned by fire.
Getting stuck in that fear halts growth.
When I reframed the rejection in my life, I could rejoice in reduction of stress from the people who will never accept me no matter what I do. Instead of banging my head against the wall over and over again, rejection solves the problem. They chose not to participate in my life and I am much better off for it. That easy.
No point in getting upset about it. No point in trying to force someone to accept what they don’t want to. Those relationships are miserable experiences anyway. Move on, find people who are accepting of who we are, not who they want to make us.
Rejection can be the greatest favor someone does for us. It makes the relationship clear as day, when we accept the truth.
Grieve when appropriate so we do not become bitter. Releasing those negative emotions in a healthy way gets us on a healthier personal path.
Allow Yourself To Be Happy With Yourself
Whether you can find another human who accepts you or not, YOU have the choice to allow yourself to accept and love yourself. You really do, so get to it.
When we choose to love ourselves, we can smile at our uniqueness. For decades I have been able to get a chuckle out of some of the wild things I so naturally do. It is just who I am so I might as well get a chuckle out of it.
Love being in love with yourself. Feed that love affair with laughter, fun, excitement and good choices that lead you to fulfilling your life’s purpose. In due time, others will come alongside all of us.
If you get stuck on any of this, hire a health coach who is trained in mind-body nourishment and has the experiences to see wisdom beyond the yuck-and-muck of life. Explore practical new adventures and solutions to your specific journey.
Do you fully believe that we truly have some differences as humans? How do you accept that you are odd? How do you accept the oddness of others? How can you nourish yourself through self-acceptance?
Maribeth Baxter, MBNC (Certified Mind-Body Nourishment Coach)